I'd like to dream my troubles all away

Bah, journal.

Things are finally starting to come together again at the Perk, after many sleepless nights and early mornings since the espresso incident. I'm trying to put it behind me, because life keeps on trucking and you've got to keep up with it, right? Hopefully nothing else will explode anytime soon. For future bets, though, my money is all on the milk steamer. When that thing squeals, it squeals like a greased pig. Anyway, we're trying to pick up the money from the day we were shut down, so everyone make sure to stop by and buy a large coffee. Or two. Or twelve! Freeze them. Make coffee pops. Carve them into ice sculptures, I don't care as long as you pay for it. Please. For me.

I've almost has a social life for the past couple of weeks, which has been a nice change from the norm. I ran into Adam and Ty at Johnny's. Adam and Ty, the guy he's dating?! As in, his boyfriend? Talk about a shocker, no wonder the poor boy practically jumped through the roof when I tried to put the moves on him back months ago. Not to mention that I was, of course, not alone, but with Eric. That kid just does not want to stay a secret. Not that I want him to. Not that I really need him to, even, when I've got Seth around.

I haven't seen as much of Seth lately as I'd like, but hopefully we'll be fixing that sooner rather than later, hmm?  I managed to catch a little too much of him at Tracks last week. With another girl. Everything sensible bit of my being is telling me that I shouldn't be having to put up with that.  I'm a strong woman, I'm a good person.  But he's smart, and funny, and gorgeous, and I can understand why any other girl would want him.  So I'm not mad.

Besides.  I think I'm falling in love with him.  I'm willing to take the good with the bad.

Today the espresso machine at the Perk exploded.

I'm not even talking, like, it put off a lot of smoke and we didn't have espresso for the day. It blew up. And it had been sort of steaming and making a lot of whining noises for the past couple of weeks, but coffee machines do that sort of crap all the time and I really didn't think it was going to be a big deal!

So there was a little fire. Minuscule, even. No one was hurt! But we had to shut down, and we're going to be down tomorrow too, while they get someone to come in and replace the machine. Because that thing is built into the wall. I hate it. I hate espresso. Next person that comes in and orders espresso is going to get... a really mean look from me or something.  I don't know.  Everyone should just drink hot chocolate or freaking normal coffee.  Or white chocolate mochas if you're Adam, but he is officially the only one who can get away with that.

Maybe I should simplify the menu.

Can you tell I'm losing it?  We've never really had an incident at the Perk before, so this is new for me.  I'm adjusting.

The only thing keeping me even remotely sane is Seth, thank God for him.  I introduced him to Eric, and they seemed to get on really well.  They're good boys.

Oh, and then he told me he loved me.  Like... WHAT?  We've barely been dating a month now.  I didn't say it back.  Because I don't know... I don't even remember what being in love feels like.  Last time I was in love I ended up alone and pregnant.  It's like a curse.  Needless to say, I'm pretty sure he wanted to hear it back.  I just want to take things slow.

Anyway, since I've got tomorrow "off", feel free to give me a call.  I could probably use some more time out of the house.

Okay, I officially suck with keeping up with this sort of thing. Things have been crazy lately at the Perk - the colder it gets, the more people we get in wanting hot drinks, the later I get to close down and go home. It's a good thing I love that place, if I didn't I think it would have driven me completely crazy by now.

Seth and I have been spending a lot of time together lately, which you won't catch me complaining about.  He's a wonderful guy and I couldn't be luckier to be dating him.  Telling him about my kid was, well, not so easy.  He was so insistent about wanting to see my place, and he's hard to turn down, you know?  Eric was at his godparents' house, but his stuff wasn't - leave it to Seth to find one of his toys about two seconds after entering.  And leave it to me to not be able to come up with a valid excuse.  But he was so, so great about it.  He wants to meet him, he's not scared off at all.  He's not like other guys.

I'm proud to announce that thanks to watching far too much Emeril Lagasse, Rachel Ray, and Iron Chef, I've been cooking a lot at home recently. I'm starting to perfect some of my recipes, and I promise to whip up something special for anyone who'd like it!  Adam, expect those enchiladas soon, I'll drop them by your apartment and we can have our own mini dinner party. :)

Happy Holidays from Scarsdale.  I've been here for the past few days or so, just catching up with the family.  Nothing has really changed much.  Parents are supportive as ever, but my grandmother looks at Eric like he's a rabid alien-robot-werewolf-mermaid in drag every time he toddles into the room.  He's five fucking years old!  How long do adjustment periods take?  I know she's an old lady, but for heaven sake.  My sister is starting to take after her, and that's the last thing I need.  I come home Thursday, and I won't say I'm not looking forward to it.  I've missed the Perk.

After two months, I finally found the time to cash in with Adam for my free umbrella drink. :)  It was busy, though, so I didn't have much of an opportunity to talk to the man himself.  Instead, Seth ended up joining me for awhile (sans beard, much to my chagrin), which was sweet of him.  He's a good dancer.  And a good kisser.  It's hard being around him and Charli, for awhile the night felt like a giant competition over who could out-jealous the other the most.  He says he likes me, though.  Me!  That's why I can't tell him about Eric.  Because then he has to like us both if this is going to work at all.  I bet he hates kids.  No one likes kids.  I didn't even like kids until I had one.  My resolution for the new year is to try and make more time for myself, so hopefully everyone will be seeing me roaming around a lot more often soon.  I'm certainly looking forward to it.

As for tonight, though, the only place you'll find me is playing Scrabble in my parents' living room.  Such is the entertaining life I lead.

Anyone who hasn't seen Seth perform live need to go do it now.  He's spectacular.  And for anyone who hasn't seen him lately at all, if you get a second, take a moment to admire his brand new hobolike beard.  It's pretty cute.  I'm worried for him, as a friend.  He's seemed so out of it lately and I know it more than likely has everything to do with Charli, and that's my fault.  I saw him last night at Tracks, but the atmosphere there is not the best for long, meaningful conversations.  Hopefully I'll be running into him again soon.

Business is booming at the Perk - there's nothing quite like frenzied holiday shoppers to add a little certain who knows what to my day.  I can handle it, though.  Having thick skin really comes in handy sometimes.  I'm leaving town for the holidays, though, and leaving the shop in the hands of my ever-capable employees for a week.  I haven't been gone for more than a day since the Perk opened, I'm getting such a mom complex leaving it behind.

If anyone wants to hang out before I leave, let me know.  I have presents for a few of you. :)

((I'm leaving on Thursday to go to Montana for Christmas, which is going to be about as fun as it sounds.  I'm pretty sure there's no internet there, so if you don't see me around for a few days, that's why.  Also, for the gals I was chatting with last night, I honestly don't remember if I told you guys I was stepping out for a second, but the reason I didn't come back is that I ran off to get some laundry out of the machine to pack and then sort of lost myself in a packing frenzy, which can loosely translate to I fell asleep while folding towels. ;)  <3))

Okay, seriously, as if Christmas wasn't a pain in the ass enough just dealing with finding the perfect presents for my kid family and friends, I could really do without the childish social drama.  Yeah, Charli babe.  That was for you.  For anyone who missed it, there was an... unfortunate encounter at the Perk last week after Barret's show, where I was reminded why we don't usually let tantrum-prone teenagers in on the late night gigs.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel bad about it.  What kind of bitch kisses their friend's boyfriend?  Or... ex, now, I suppose.  But Seth is really sweet.  I'd also be lying if I said I didn't like him a little.  It's not a crime for me to go for what I want.  Have fun finding another place to perform, sweetie.

I've been spending a fair amount of time with Seth lately.  The girl down the hall is getting really tired of watching Eric all the time, but I don't know what else to do.  Kids scare off guys like freaking wildebeasts.  Definitely enjoyable, he's a funny guy.  It's a good thing he is, too, considering the whole comedian bit.  I'm going to see his show on Friday, anyone who wants to come along would be welcome to come sit with me. :)

Adam, I'm coming to cash in on that drink sometime this week.  Get those umbrellas ready for me.

Hi, who sucks at journaling.  That's me.  My apologies in advance.

Things have been so ridiculously busy at work lately that I've barely had time to breathe.  Plus, Eric's teething.  No one even told me that having a kid was going to make me want to BREAK THINGS so much.  I need a nanny.  I need a shrink.  I wonder if they have combo packages where I can get both for the price of one.  Uh, let's think. 

Had a huge night a few weeks back, the entire shop was packed thanks to Miss Charli Barrett.  We need more of your demos, sweetheart.  I'm all out, and I've got a pretty check that I think you may enjoy.

Let's see.. what else has happened since I updated.  Um, Adam introduced me to his underwear model pal awhile back, and I promptly embarrased myself by hitting on him.  What was I thinking?!  I never act like that, ever.  I haven't seen either of them since, but Adam's promised to make it up to me by fixing me up a free drink over at Tracks with at least four of those little paper umbrellas in it.

All I know is it had better be a pina colada.  Ahem.  Hint hint?

I haven't written in a journal since I was nine.  Amazing how technology makes almost anything trendy, right?  People with something meaningful to say start putting their thoughts online and before you know it half the world is going out of their way to share their personal drivel.

I, of course, consider myself to be of the latter category. ;)  Hope you're not here looking for something intelligent.  I'll probably just be bitching about my customers and talking about all the late-night TV I've been watching while not going out like a normal 20-year-old.  Although, that's easier said than done when you've got a kid to look after.  I love little Eric with all my heart, but he makes it a LOT harder to be social.  Not to mention get dates.  What man wants to even think of shouldering the responsibility of a child?  Damn me and my antisocial tendencies, right?  Heh.

Chances are if you get around the city at all you know who I am, or at least of my pride and joy.  Cafe Perk, home of the most killer Friday night open mike and the best coffee around?  The only place around where you'll find angst ridden teenagers, stuffy businessmen, artists looking for inspiration and caffienne addicts all at once.  And every once in awhile Louie, the 5th and Main street drunk, stops in too.  Always brings the party, that man.  Anyway, if that description didn't set off a bell for you, it is time for you to get on in here!  I promise you won't regret it.  If you do, you can throw your coffee on me.

..And if you take that seriously, your ass will be hitting the pavement before you can say whoopah.

It's five now and my break's over, I'm back to work.  I've got to call the guy that's supposed to be coming in to play tonight.  I know I've got his name and number around here somewhere.  He better not ditch out on me. 

He was pretty cute.